I don't know if you're anything like me as a mom but there are just some days that I just look at my kids and flashback to when they were babies, brand new, deeply familiar to me yet new to my world. I might have just met him, but yet my love was deeper and truer for him than I could have ever expressed. Fingers were teeny tiny, hair was so silly like a little baby monkey, and new little expressions were endless.
This new person in my life was long awaited for, prayed for, yearned for, begged for and the yet still biggest surprise of my life. I couldn't wait for him to grow up so I could get to know his little personality, experience the world through his eyes, and talk to him about life. But as the days went by, I suddenly found myself begging time to slow down. I found myself saying "wait, you're already a month, 6months, a year old? How? Somebody stop the clock". I feel like time is just passing by TOO quickly and while some days seem SO long (you moms know what I'm talking about haha) the weeks, months and years are just flying by before my eyes.
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| one week old |
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| one month old |
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| one year old |
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| two years old |
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| 3 years old |
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| 4 years old |
BUT.... every once in a while, I see a profile view or an expression from my little one that flashes me back to those beginning days. This past week, I was soaking up some snuggles from Nathan when all the sudden I had one of those flashback moments. And it was in that moment that I realized just how small he still is. Sometimes 4 years old seems SOOO old (especially with all the little sayings, witty comments and smart statements he makes). But in that moment, snuggled up on my bed, I relished in the smallness that he still poses. His little fingers, little lips, skinny arms and legs, long eyelashes, and baby smooth skin. The baby fat still on his small belly, the littleness in his giggle and the gentleness of his kiss on my cheek. I kissed him all over and reminded him how just how much I loved him and how proud of him I am. We giggled, we talked, we snuggled in silence.
It's these little moments that get me, that make me realize just how fast time is passing by. Before I know it, I will be reaching up to hug him instead of reaching down; I will be smelling endless bottles of Ax body spray instead of baby sweetness, and I will be kissing his rough unshaven face instead of his baby smooth face. Unfortunately, no matter how much I wish time would slow down, I know it won't, so instead I will just relish in these moments of "littleness" because like the book says "I will love them forever, I will like them for always, as long as I'm living, my baby they'll be".
