My Heart is Full

There are many times throughout each day that the ramifications of my infertility cloud my mind. Mostly because I feel guilty that I can not give Ben a sibling to grow up with and play with but also because I feel incomplete, like there is a piece of my life still missing. This insecurity is not one that I like to talk about because it hurts so much, but it fills my mind daily. I wonder if Ben will be sad about being an only child growing up. I wonder if he will be lonely. Don't get me wrong, I am joyful and eternally grateful that I have Ben; I know many women that still ache to hold a baby of their own in their arms. I am thankful that after all our losses the Lord gave us Ben, but sometimes my heart still hurts.

This past week, I have been on spring break and while those insecurities and doubts still filter through my mind, I have been filled a renewed joy. Getting to spend each day with Ben has been a blessing. I feel like in this past week he has grown up so much and I actually got to be there for it all. We have been able to do art, play at the park, mail letters to our friends/family, bake, snuggle and many other things that I just don't usually get to do. This past week has made me realize all the things that I miss and how much I wish I could be a SAHM (stay at home mom) so I never had to miss anything.

I am so blessed that the Lord chose me to be Ben's mom. He has such a tender heart, he loves to help around the house, he loves to make people smile and laugh, he always a warm smile to share with those around him, he is a nice friend, and he is so easy going. I love the way he giggles when the dog chases him around the house and that when we tickle him he always asks for more. I like that when his friends cry, he pats them on the back and says "no cry baby". This boy makes my heart well up with joy and I know that when the Lord chose Ben for me- it was the perfect choice!

So even though my infertility still clouds my mind, Ben pushes all that aside, fills my heart with unspeakable joy and puts a smile on my face. And even if I never get another baby, I will be content in the Lord's plan for me because I trust Him and Ben is already my dream come true!

Skateboarding Genius

Who knew my son was a natural born skateboarding genius! I don't know, but if you ask me this is pretty impressive for a 20 month old :)

Sprinkler Fun

It was a very nice day today so after our friends left Ben and I thought it would be fun to play in the sprinklers. The water was freezing but Ben didnt care- he loved it. This boy has NO fear of the water!!!

Swinging Good Times

I remember when Ben was just a little baby I pushed in the swing and now he is so big sitting in that swing and not only that but he is pushing his own little baby in the swing. I love how sweet he is with the baby: strapping it in and kissing it. Ben has the sweetest heart!

Our Morning with the Little Hester Ladies

This morning our friends Cadence and Lyric came over to play for a little bit while thier mama went out to breakfast for her birthday. Ben was really excited to have his friends come over and play and the weather was perfect so we got to play outside for a little while. We were also planning to go to the library for storytime but we didnt make it, so we had our own storytime :)

First Little Monkey


Second Little Monkey


Third Little Monkey


Three little monkeys reading in bed




"Who me officer???? I was not driving and talking at the same time"


This is sign that you hang out with girls too much :)

Ben's New Big Boy Room

I am nervous and sad and happy all at the same time-- I need chocolate!

This afternoon we changed Ben's bed from a crib to a toddler bed because we are afraid that he is going to fall out. Lately, he is really into trying to crawl out and it makes us nervous that he might break a collar bone or worse. So since I am on spring break this week, we thought it would be a great time to transition him to a toddler bed.

Ben is REALLY excited! He has been running and jumping into bed all afternoon and he likes to lay in there and say "shhh" and pretend he is sleeping :) It's pretty cute! I on the other hand and happy that he is so excited and feels so proud of himself but I am REALLY nervous that he will not stay in bed. I took the advice of many great friends and put a baby gate on his door which makes me feel a little bit better but we'll see. Also, to be completely honest, I am a little bit sad too. the crib was for my "baby" and toddler beds are not for babies which means that my little guy is growing up and is no longer a baby. I miss him being a baby, I miss when he was super little but I am also so proud of the little boy that he is becoming. So many mixed emotions today- but overall it was a good day and hopefully it will be a good night :)











PS. A HUGE thanks to my mom and sister staci for making his new duvet covers and new pillow cases to match his room. They turned out amazing. I am so thankful and so is Ben :) We love you!


UPDATE: I just got Ben to sleep in his big boy bed for the first time after 32 minutes. I have decided that this is something that we should trade kids and do for each other- kinda like a wet nurse :) LOL!!!!!

Remodel Part 1

Bryan spent the whole day today building a closet organizer for Ben's room. This was the first of many steps to remodeling Ben's room. Ben really wanted to be like his daddy and was copying everything he did. I love to see how much Ben loves his daddy :)

Safety first!






Bryan built this. He is not done yet in this picture but you get the idea. It looks amazing- he did such a great job!


Here is the finished product- gosh I love being organized. Thanks babe!!!!


Ben's new toy storage area from IKEA

Playing with Play-Dough

The container says for ages 2 and up but I decided to ignore that let Ben play with play-dough for the first time today. He was not really sure about it at first but once he go the hang of it, he loved it. We also borrowed some play-dough tools from our neighbor and that really excited Ben (thanks Joann)

Apron on, ready to go!


Love these little hands






He was making the funniest faces trying to squish the play-dough. It was really funny!

Ben- the Chef

Recently I heard a woman telling a story of how she used to never let her kids help her cook in the kitchen for two reasons. The first reason was that it was just easier to do it herself and the second reason being that the kids made a mess and she hated messes. I heard her telling this story and found myself thinking "I totally get where she is coming from". She then went on though to say that now that she has grandkids she lets them cook all the time and how much fun they have together. She told us that she really regrets letting her fear of messes and her perfectionism stop her from doing this with her own kids.

I think I am similar to the lady that was telling this story. I often just do things myself because it is easier and faster and less messy. After hearing her story though I realized that no mess is big enough to make it worth missing out on these fun times with Ben. So tonight for dinner, Ben and I made BBQ chicken pizza together. Granted it was messy, but it was tons of fun and worth all the mess. He loved helping in the kitchen and it just melted my heart to see him so excited and proud of himself for helping me :)

A Day at the Clubhouse

The clubhouse is a great indoor play area in Ventura. There is a jump house, pretend kitchens, playmat area, slides, tubes, balls, cars, scooters, etc. It is all indoors and totally safe. There are also tables for eating, couches for hanging out, and computers for mommies. This place is a gem and today Ben and I headed there with our friends Cadence, Lyric, and Kelly, Dani, and Kierra. Thanks everybody for coming to hang out- we had a great time!

Our sweet friend Lyric


Ben loved standing on the edge and falling backwards into the balls- over and over and over again!




Ben kept throwing the balls and then laughed when they came down and hit him in the face :)


Ben found the air hockey table today and just would not stop playing. He was mesmerized by the way the air pushed the puck without him even touching it.




Our sweet friend Cadence

Fabulich Family Tradition

This is a tradition in the Fabulich family and today Ben got to take his turn :) Needless to say, he thought this tradition was a keeper!

Daddy's Home

For those of you that didn't know- Bryan has been in Japan for the past 10 days (hence the millions of blogs per day, LOL). Today Bryan finally came home and Ben was thrilled beyond words. Here is Ben finally seeing his daddy after 10 days.

Mr. Cool

Ben loves to wear his sunglasses- even when they are upside down.

Such a Tender Heart

Ben is really into feeding babies lately. He loves to take care of other people and puppies; he has such a tender heart for others. I love him so much!

Happy Birthday to Our Sweet Friend Cadence

Yesterday was our sweet friend Cadence's 3rd birthday. We went over for dinner and some ice cream cake and some fun playtime with freinds. We love Cadence, she always makes us smile and brings joy to our days! Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!