Mommy's Surgery Update

Monday morning I went in for surgery on my right wrist. Once the doctor got in there he discovered that the ligament was torn so bad that it was just barely hanging on by a thread. I am still not exactly sure what all they did in there, he said they would tell me more at my post-op appt this upcoming Tuesday. Until then, I am being taken care of by my amazing friends and family and just trying to let it heal. The recovery has been a lot rougher than I predicted it to be, but each day gets a little bit better and for that I am thankful.

recovery day 1

recovery day 2

Getting Ready

 When I was little, my parents went to summer camp with the youth group kids in our church for a week and I always remember them leaving us a little something special for halfway through their time being gone and I always thought that was so awesome. 

Well, Monday morning I go in for surgery for my (right) wrist and I am not going to be able to see the boys for a couple days. I am going to miss them something fierce so I thought it would be fun to make the boys a little treat bag so they know I am thinking about them while I am recovering. 

Looking Good

Miss Nadine gave Nathan a great little haircut the other day! He's looking so handsome!

Poor Fella

Fella tripped and fell running down a hill the other there day at school. 

I think it's safe to say- the hill won. Poor little guy!

Baby Knox Sleeps Over

The other day, due to his mama having a family emergency, we got to spend the day and have a sleepover with little Knox. I love this little guy so much! Ben had the best time making Knox laugh non-stop and Nathan enjoyed being the "big brother" and made sure Knox was always safe haha!

Brotherly Love

I love little moments of quiet snuggles between these 2-- heavenly!

watching Toy Story 2

Blast from the Past

 This little turkey found a paci today that I had hidden long ago... he thought it was just SO funny to keep putting it in his mouth. Too funny Nathan!

Whirlwind Of A Weekend

Sometimes weekends are just for sitting around and relaxing, sometimes they are for catching up on things around the house, and sometimes they are just non-stop and jammed packed with various things. This weekend was a mixture of all these things but in the end . . . it was spent with my some of my most favorite people, and that means it was perfect!!!

Friday morning, my car decided that it was going to die and had to be taken to the shop. So Chris came and got me and we spent the day running errands, I grabbed a quick nap, and then we hung out with the girls. 

Then first thing Saturday morning, Selena and I dropped Olivia off at her school car wash and then she and I headed to breakfast with the volleyball team. (Thanks to Chris who let me use his truck all day since my car was broken)

5 of my 9 of my vball players at breakfast

After that, Selena and I hung out and then picked up Olivia and us 3 girls went and got our nails done (which was part of my gift to O for her bday). 

Waiting for O to finish at her car wash

a full car is a full heart

After some pampering, we ran over and got the boys from their dad's, picked up the keys to my car (it was finally fixed), and then we headed back to Cam to pick up Chris so that we could meet up with his parents, give him his truck back, and grab some dinner.

snuggled up with Mr. Chris while at dinner with his parents

Sunday morning, the 6 of us headed to CI Harbor to see the Tall Ships. The boys were convinced that it was a pirate ship but we had a good time checking it out. 

visiting the Tall Ships in CI Harbor
(aka: The Pirate Ship)

steering the ship

Ben raising the anchor

watching the seals

Olivia & Selena

Selena and Me

SOOOO thankful to have him as my best friend

Afterwards, we had lunch at Andria's Seafood and then we headed home for naps, catching up on work, playing army men, and football watching :)

knocked out on the way home

While the football players battled it out for the final 2 spots in the super bowl,
the army men had their own battle going on

It was a crazy weekend!!! I think I've barely had a minute to myself, I can barely keep my eyes open to write this blog post, and to say that I am exhausted is an understatement, but it was also the best weekend I've had in a long time! It was full of funny moments, great conversations, and lots of laughter, but most important it was spent with people that I love! There will always be time in the future to catch up on sleep and have time to myself- but I can never get moments like this weekend back and I wouldn't trade that for anything!!!

Remembering: I Once Begged For This

Sometimes, being a single mom can get overwhelming and lately I have been finding myself getting easily frustrated over little things with the boys: spilled glasses of milk when I just mopped the floor, pee on the floor instead of the in the toilet, stepping on a Lego for the 100th time, etc. The other day, however when I finally had some time to myself, I began thinking about these frustrations and I found myself thinking back to the day when I would have begged for these problems. Back when infertility put a black cloud over my dreams, and I would have traded anything for these same problems that I now find myself complaining about. And it was at that point that I realized…. here I am complaining about these silly little frustrating moments when there are women, even friends of mine, that are begging for these problems if it means having a child to love. Everything that I was whining about was something that I would have given anything to have. I signed up for this. I went through years of infertility for this, I pursued IVF for this, and I got through many miscarriages to get my boys.. so who am I to be complaining?

Even though I didn't really know what I was signing up for when I began this journey, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love my boys, they are my world, and I need to really work on learning to not get frustrated and not complain over these silly little frustrations. So being the goal orientated person that I am, I decided to make a list of the top 5 things that I find myself getting frustrated over. So here is my list of things that I didn't really know I was signing up for, but am deciding that I am no longer complaining about:

1. Children are messy, super messy!
There will be fingerprints, everywhere on everything. There will be constant spills, especially right after the floors have been mopped. There will always be unrecognizable gross findings, especially with boys. Apparently aiming when going pee is quite challenging and Legos on the floor are proof that my boys were happily playing. They are children and these messes mean that they are exploring, playing and learning so I am done complaining about messes.

2. Children must be taught  EVERYTHING!!!
Manners. Hygiene. Rules. How to count. How letters spell words. Etc. and as their mom, it is my job to teach them that and to answer all the hundreds of questions they throw at me daily. (Sometimes, I am really thankful for Siri haha). Teaching them and answering them is my job, one I once begged for, so I am choosing to no longer complain when I am asked "what day is tomorrow?" for the 100th time.

3.  Children don't sleep.
Sometimes I wish when bed time rolled around I could just punch my time card and be done for the night. But children sometimes need a drink, need to go potty, need an extra song, or just need some "ni-nite" tickles from their mommy. And even when they do sleep, they sometimes have nightmares and need a little cuddle time. And all this will usually occur just as I close my eyes for the night. But I am choosing to start being thankful for this, because one day they will be gone and I know I will wish I could just scoop them up and cuddle them once again.

4. Children are slow.
When taking the kids places, its important to leave at least 30 minutes extra time because it is inevitable that right when we are ready to walk out the door somebody will have to go potty or will need something they left in the house. Children never make the process of doing something fast, but I need to learn to remember that I once begged for a little hand to hold as I walked around the grocery store and instead of getting frustrated I choose to start enjoying this journey- however long that journey might take haha!

5. Children have their own personalities. 
There is a fine line between shepherding and controlling children. There are times when things must be done a certain way, for example holding mommy's hand when crossing the street. But then there are other times when I might really want one of my boys to wear a certain shirt and they just don't feel like wearing that one. Sometimes finding that line is easy but other times I find myself getting frustrated with what I want and what really matters. So I want to start remembering to really listen and let them begin to be their own selves even when that means nurturing their interesting choices and ideas.


Remembering that I once begged for these things, is a good reality check for me when I start to find myself getting frustrated with some of the aspects of motherhood. So I am going to start CHOOSING to let go and pick my battles and focus more on what really matters: being thankful that I have what I once begged for: my boys (and everything that comes with that).

Cool Kid

I can't believe this little boy will be 5 1/2 this week! Something about him turning 6 (or as Ben says "more than one hand") has me really noticing how fast this time goes by. I love you buddy!

Daddy Time

This past weekend the boys and daddy went on quite the journey; they rode their bikes for 19 miles... WOW! Good job Ben!

Every Step of the Way

I recently came across this video about moms, and I'll admit it made me a little emotional. I hope that as my boys get older, whatever it is that they choose to do, that they know I will always be there for them cheering them on every step of the way.

http://youtu.be/57e4t-fhXDs

Something Is Fishy

Today the boys, the Stark girls, and I got to spend the day together and it was the best day! We hung out and spent the morning getting some things taken care, then we packed up some snacks for the drive and headed out for a little adventure. We went to the Fillmore Fish Hatchery and fed the fish, got splashed by the fish and just spent time hanging out together giggling and exploring. Once we were done there, we stopped at Foster Freeze for a quick treat and then came home for naps. After some much needed naps, we played and had dinner. 

One of my favorite little comments I heard today was when we were walking out of Foster Freeze and I told each of the boys to grab their buddy's hand while we walked to the car and Nathan grabbed Olivia's hand and shouted "I got my buddy"... so sweet!

It was the best day and I am so thankful for all the friendship, giggles, kindness, hugs and sweetness that I saw today. I am exhausted for sure, but there were so many times that my heart melted with the way these 4 interact, that it is all worth it!

buddies: Fella and Olivia

buddies: Selena and Ben

Fella, Olivia, Selena, Ben and Me

Selena, the volleyball super star, and me

fella and mommy

ice cream mustache

ice cream mustache

Silliness with Fella

Nathan has just been cracking us up lately with these silly sayings he hears in songs, shows, etc. The funniest part is his little voice the fact that he uses them in the perfect context. I love this silly stage!

"Lucky Charms... WHAT???"

"chicks are digging my swagger" (swagger means coolness)

"Js on my feet, you look like me" 

(part of a song talking about people who wear Michael Jordan shoes)

Brotherly Love

The boys are each on a different Apple product but they were playing the same game and were giggling away convinced they were racing each other. They were having so much fun, I didn't have the heart to tell them they weren't really racing each other. Brotherly love is just so much fun!

Free At Last

This past Thursday, I finally got my cast off. It has been in a cast or in a hard splint since Sept 26. I will start PT within the next week and I am hoping I will start to gain some mobility back quickly.

Art by Ben

Fella holding mommy's hand

cast off Jan 2